Around the World in 80 Disasters - the Chapter Titles

The long winter evenings have arrived, and there is little to do apart from drink and write, so a combination of the two starts in earnest in the morning, with The Muse in attendance. Book number 5 will be written by the end of November. Any pro-bono editors out there, get in touch, to be part of what is sure to be the 2014 Christmas blockbuster. 

Around the World in 80 Disasters

Chapter 1 – 1988

Belgium: Waking Up in an Ostend Hospital

Germany: Confessions of a Male Munich Chambermaid

Germany: Tax-Efficient Begging in Munich's Finer Suburbs

Germany: Assuming a Fijian ID on the Munich Underground

Wales: Fluorescent Fish, Denuded Caravans and Bad Camping

Chapter 2 – 1989

Guyana: A Malaria Expert Flies into the Jungle

Brazil: The Heart of the Amazon is a Lonely Place

Bolivia: From Brazil Nut Factory to La Paz

Chile: Camping with Cows on the Island of Chiloe

Argentina: A Little Mustard for the Rucksack

Brazil: $430 Short of a Ticket Home

Chapter 3 – 1990

Germany: Madam, You are Overdressed in Those Socks

Germany: Telling Keith Richards to Turn the Music Down

Germany: A Liberal Interpretation to Weeding

Romania: Curious Chambermaid Meets Securitate

England: Learning Russian with No Front Door

Chapter 4 – 1991

Scotland: I Wandered Lonely as an Unemployed Drunken Tour Guide

Russia: Homeless in the Soviet Union: A Long Way from Manchester

Russia: Crossing the Black Sea in a Novel Fashion

Bulgaria: Teaching English with the Moonies

Bulgaria: Five Reasons Not to Go to the Dentist in Bulgaria

Bulgaria: The Importance of Boarding Schools

Hungary: Marooned in No Man's Land with a Filipino Moonie

Chapter 5 – 1992

Italy: Earning a Million as an Undercover Polish Journalist

Russia: In Search of Laser Crystals in the Footsteps of NASA, CIA and Mossad

Russia: How to Get Arrested in a Bathrobe at St. Petersburg Train Station

Russia: How to Compress a Lada in Two Easy Steps

Russia: Naked Saunas and Apples for Vodka

Chapter 6 - 1993

Russia: A Brewery in a Town with No Beer in the Switzerland of the Urals

Russia: Introducing the Red Army to Peanut Butter

Russia: The Scary World of the Aeroflot Internal Flight in the Nineties

Russia: Why Don't American Cows Give Milk

Russia: How Not to Conduct a TV Interview in Russian

Russia: Chechens, Guns, Diplomats and Tangerines

Russia: The Hunt for 27 Pints of Kilkenny

Russia: Hunting for Woodcocks with Soviet Special Forces

Russia: An Appreciation of Rubber Chicken in Sisert

Tajikistan: Take Care How You Say Things in Tajikistan

Chapter 7 – 1994

Ireland: From Russian Literature to the Costa Brava

Finland: Building Towns in Kazakhstan

North America: 4,810 Miles in 10 Days

Russia: My Daughter for a Million Rounds of Ammunition

UK: Making a Will in Covert Garden

Uganda: A Police Roadblock Made to be Destroyed

Rwanda: 15 People, 4 Beds, No Water

Rwanda: The Rewards for Destroying Military Road Blocks

Rwanda: My Teeth Cannot Open This Car, Please Don't Shoot

Rwanda: The Quest for Gin and Tonic

Chapter 8 - 1995-2001

Rwanda: Introducing the Brussel Sprout to the Minister of Agriculture

Peru: Fish, Blood and Mad Englishmen

France: Ford Luton (3m) Meets Alsace Bridge (2.8m)

Ethiopia: The Two Dollar Honeymoon

Qatar: Learning the Capital of Qatar the Hard Way

UK: Rioja Gran Reserva 1989 Meets Open Air Swimming Pool

Spain: Wine by Watering Can

Lebanese Nuns Don't Ski and Other Beirut Stories

Chapter 9 - 2002

Somalia: Engine Trouble in John Travolta's Private Plane

Somalia: Tribal Negotiations – the Case of the Green Boot

Somalia: The Manchester Rain God Arrives

Somalia: The Hunt for Flowers on International Women's Day

Somalia: Maternity Beds, Camel Troughs and Dutch Gout

Somalia: The Perils of Trying to Date a Somali

Kenya: The Culinary Delights of Trying to Date a Kikuyu

Dubai: A Date with a Serbian Cameron Diaz

India: The Case of the McDonalds Chicken Maharaja

Croatia: From Somalia to Hvar – How Not to Buy Property

Hungary: Learning to Teach English

Chapter 10 – 2003

Israel: Flying El Al on the Eve of a Gulf War

Japan: Toyland with Sex

Japan: Teaching Toddlers

Japan: George Bush, She Speak Engrish

Japan: Teaching A-Bomb Survivors

Korea: Taekwondo Tree-Trimmers

Chapter 11 – 2005-2010

Slovakia: Buying Maria Theresa's Bedroom

Croatia: Taking the Childbirth Father Test

Bosnia: Sanity Tests and the Chicken and Egg Permits

Albania: Negotiating a $2 Million Deal with Tirana's Garbage Magnate

Bosnia: Tactics with the Bosnian Traffic Police

Bosnia: Air-Freighting Norwegian Halal Goats

Albania: Investing in Tirana's First Indian Restaurant

Bosnia: This is Zdravko, Where is My Money?